Wedding planning stress, be gone: 11 wedding day details you should stop worrying about

It goes without saying that organising your wedding day to the person you love is an exciting time, but it should be said more often than not, it can also induce a fair amount of wedding planning stress. Sometimes it can even feel like you have another full-time job.

Fortunately, not every part of the process results in wedding planning stress. While choosing the right photographer and picking the perfect menu for your reception dinner are definitely things worth your time, there are other things you can loosen the reins on if it’ll help ease some of that anxiety. These things may seem like a huge deal when viewed through the laser focus of a wedding planning brain, but on your wedding day, they won’t be noticeable at all.

So, here are 11 wedding day details you don’t need to worry about, to help you avoid wedding planning stress (and that your guests won’t even notice, either!):

Coordinating all the colours

The chances are your flowers, accessories and wedding decor will not all be the exact same shade of lavender—and guess what? That’s ok. Matching colours perfectly is incredibly challenging, especially when some of it is viewed by a screen, and therefore it’s not something you should waste sleep over. Though a defined colour palette is helpful, the finer details of whether your tablecloths clash with the groomsmen’s ties won’t make or break it. If one colour is a little lighter or darker shade, no worries! Your guests won’t notice, and you shouldn’t worry about it either.

Bride and groom with bridesmaids in different coloured dresses

Having a symmetrical wedding party

I say this as a wedding photographer who loves things looking beautiful: symmetry is great, but it isn’t necessary in your wedding party. Maybe you have more close friends than your spouse, or maybe they have more close friends than you. Don’t feel obliged to ask people to be in your wedding when you aren’t close to them. On the other hand, don’t leave out someone you love just to meet a specific number.

Personalising all the little details

If you’re stressing about the font of your monogram on the napkins, it’s time to take a step back, a deep breath, and pour yourself a glass of something nice - you deserve it. The tiny details of your reception wedding decor, such as coasters or cups, won’t be as obvious to your guests as they might seem to you in this present moment. Instead, focus on the big stuff that really matters to everyone - including, most importantly, you - like your wedding vows.

Flowers in aisle at wedding ceremony

Having perfect weather for your day

Now, you may be thinking - hang on, aren’t you a wedding photographer? And yes, I love a golden hour portrait session just like everyone else! However, I also love autumn and winter weddings. In fact, my perfect wedding day would have lots of snow, or a chill in the air and those beautiful, deep autumnal colours…

But this is largely irrelevant because whether sunny or storming, your wedding day weather is one item you have zero control over. This, in turn, is why it’s such a big part of wedding planning stress. And though there’s nothing you can do to control the weather itself - sorry, I’m not revealing some best kept meteorological magic in this blog post, I wish I could - you can instead take that wedding planning stress and channel it towards something you can control. This is having a solid Plan B for weather that looks less than ideal; for example, a beautiful indoors setup if it’s due to chuck it down.

Keeping your family members in line

Another thing about your wedding day you can’t control? Your guests. Getting lots of people together can sometimes lead to drama, especially when they’re all close. Plus, we all have relatives who tend to say inappropriate or insensitive things. However, people tend to be on their best behaviour at weddings; and besides, it’s not your role to babysit 100 people on your wedding day! If the idea is causing you a lot of wedding planning stress in the run-up, why not assign a close friend or family member to keep an eye out, and have a word with anyone who might need it?

Playing the perfect music

You should definitely let your DJ know what songs you want on the playlist and maybe a few definite nos, too - but you don’t need to worry about every single song played. After all, you’re paying the DJ for their ability to choose the tunes that will get everyone out on the dancefloor. It’s also why the right DJ is worth their weight in gold.

Bridesmaid pretending to DJ at the wedding

What - or who - you’re wearing

Deciding what to wear can be an anxiety-inducing endeavour anyway but in this situation? Dial-up that wedding planning stress to 100! However, it doesn’t have to be that way. At the end of the day, it’s not about what you wear, but how you wear it. So as long as you’re comfortable and feel like your best, most amazing self, then you will shine. If what you wear makes you feel like Sandy Dee at the end of Grease, guests won’t bat an eyelash at the lack of a designer label.

The bouquet toss and garter toss

Ah, the ol’ bouquet and garter toss. It’s entirely up to you if you do it or not – if you really want to, great stuff. But if it’s causing you wedding planning stress, then don’t worry about it. The chances are your guests won’t even notice; your single friends might notice and even be grateful for it, Plus, the time not taken to gather unwilling people to catch the damn thing means more dancing time, which is a win all round, right?

Wedding favours - mini mead bottles

Perfecting your wedding favours

At nearly every wedding I’ve shot, the favours are left unattended on tables, and get swept away by the clear up staff. Guests either forget or just don’t want stuff that they’ll feel too guilty to chuck out cluttering up their house! Unless your favours are something memorable, personal, or unique, you can save the money and put it towards something else. Alternatively, why not donate to charity, and let your guests know that it’s been made in their name?

A wedding cake to make Picasso proud

Look, to say that people don’t care about cake wouldn’t be entirely accurate. Cake is love, cake is life. However, what I would say is that your guests won’t be as invested in the design or the flavours as you are. Usually, by the time your guests are eating the wedding cake, they will have already stocked up on your delicious food. Instead, why not choose a smaller version of your cake, so that you can still do the cake cutting, and then order a sheet cake or mini individual cakes in the same flavour(s) to be served afterwards?

Couple dancing but only their hands are visible

A tear-jerking guest book

If your guest book is creating you some wedding planning stress, then why not abort it altogether? The chances are, your guests will have already written a heartfelt card, with all of their well wishes written for your eyes only. Why not keep these cards in an album, instead? If you’re still looking for an interactive element for your wedding decor, there are loads of fun things you could get, like a photo booth.

Are any of these details causing you wedding planning stress? If so, I hope that this has been the permission slip you needed to get rid of any wedding day details that are causing you more worry than they’re worth. Ultimately, your day is your day, and you should do you!