The wedding cake way to plan a wedding: A three-tier series | Part 1
Welcome to this three-tier series all about planning your wedding the cake-y way! I don’t know about you, but I love cake, so, it seemed only right to talk about how to plan a wedding using cake as an analogy. This is not a detailed ‘how-to’. Instead, it’s about the thoughts and feelings behind your wedding planning, with the odd cake pun or metaphor thrown in for good measure.
Onwards with the post!
The Bottom Tier – Laying the groundwork
You’re engaged! Congratulations!
This is where the fun begins. The ideas, the opinions, the suggestions from family and friends, as well as their (and your!) excitement about this next phase of your life. Being engaged is a big thing. Be proud. You did it!
Take time to feel all the feelings
This exciting adventure comes with a whole bunch of thoughts, feelings and emotions, which can take a bit of time to wrap your head around.
For some, wedding planning can be the start of an incredibly stressful period of their lives. Getting married is up there with moving to a new house and having a baby as being one of the most stressful (and yet exciting) events to occur in your life.
The stress and pressure of feeling like you have to leap in with both feet and start planning is real. To take on board all the opinions and ideas of friends and family (because EVERYONE has an opinion about what you should do) and begin the decision-making right away is tough. It’s easy to forget that you’ve just experienced a major milestone in your life, and to enjoy it, if only for a short while!
My advice is to take a bit of time, following your engagement and the big announcement, to enjoy the changing dynamic of your relationship! It can feel different, even while not being different at all. But there’s no rush to start planning yet!
Every cake turns out differently…
I love baking cakes. But just because I follow a recipe, it doesn’t mean my cake will come out the same way as someone else who follows the same recipe.
My point is, every cake starts the same way, but each baker puts something different into it. So, the result is never the same as any other. And so it is for weddings. There may well be an acceptable format or layout. Traditions and expectations might be largely similar. But what makes your wedding unique is the two of you. You and your other half will put your unique stamp on your day so that it becomes your wedding and your story.
Ultimately, what that means is, while you’re enjoying that time being engaged, you can talk about your thoughts and ideas for your wedding day. Discuss, between you, what’s important to you both. Figure out what you want to include and leave out of your day. Decide what traditions matter to you both the most and which you can do without.
Having a firm idea of what’s important to you both will help later when you find other people start offering their opinions. Which leads me to…
Everyone has an opinion
You’ll discover, the moment you announce your engagement, that everyone around you has an opinion about what you should and shouldn’t do with your wedding day.
The length of your engagement, whether you choose a church or civil ceremony, the style of clothing you want and just about every other detail of your day, will be up for discussion.
Now, I’m sure every one of those opinions and ideas will be offered with love and absolute joy for the two of you. It’s unlikely there will be any ulterior motives or hidden agendas in those suggestions (unless they happen to be that kind of person!), but it can be frustrating!
The best way to deal with this is to accept the advice given graciously unless it’s something upsetting or offensive to you. A simple thank you is enough. Then you can think about the ideas, discuss them between the two of you and decide whether you want to go with it or not.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you have to go along with all the suggestions and ideas because they’ve come from friends and family members. Loved ones, although they mean well, can unintentionally make you feel like you have to do what they say sometimes. But the truth is, you don’t! Do what feels right for the two of you, what you both feel comfortable with.
At the end of the day, this is your wedding and as long as both of you are happy, your loved ones will be happy for you. So, enjoy this part of the whole process. You’ve got a way to go before you reach that aisle and exchange those vows. Make sure it’s a fun and memorable journey, rather than one that’s filled with stress and upset.
Stay tuned for tier two in this cake-filled wedding planning series!